Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Vodka?
Forever.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
