Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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