Can Purell be used as lube?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
