I'm drive I can fine osifer
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you will always have a special place in my vag
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
