So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
