So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
