I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
