You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
