singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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