Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
