yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
