YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
