Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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