Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
