i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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