yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
