I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
