Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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