What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
