So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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