Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
