My Higher Power is John Stamos
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
