16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize