Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
