You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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