I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
