The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
