hotel room ftw
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
