I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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