Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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