i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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