Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
