i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
