those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I met the friendliest cop last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
