is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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