Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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