The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
