Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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