we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize