somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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