Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
