So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
