so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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