Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
