Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
