no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
