he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
