i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize