this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
