I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
