on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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