Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
