Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

Fav 53 8265 1001
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I had another sleeping on concrete incident.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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(+43): View more from

After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.

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(303): View more from Colorado

exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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(303): View more from Colorado

Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

Fav 7 1403 772
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(434): View more from Virginia

do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?

Fav 3 730 492
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(828): View more from North Carolina

All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in

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