apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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