I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
