He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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