Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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