p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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