You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
