you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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