How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
