It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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