Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
