You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
