I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
