don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
